When I first moved to Binghamton, one part of me was incredibly excited and happy because I knew my life was about to change, but another part of me was pretty miserable because it was freaking cold and my body had no idea how to deal with it.
Then once spring came and I started making friends at work and at the gym I entered this euphoric state and felt like I was on a high almost all the time. I was annoyingly happy, pretty much inhaling rainbows and exhaling butterflies.
It’s been about 7 months since I’ve moved, I’ve pretty much established myself in this area meaning I’ve got my routine down, I’ve got my local friends, I’m still very close to my CA friends, been to all sorts of cool places in the surrounding areas, been traveling, but…my euphoric zen state is gone. I’m still happy and I feel a lot better knowing I can totally stay here if I want to (one of my friends here said if I wanted a job in this area, I should let him know), but…I’ve been feeling restless lately. I can’t imagine why! I’ve been out of town most weekends, both locally and even out of the country, and yet there’s still that feeling that I’m missing something…what, man!?!? What is it!?!?
Haha I really need to learn to be patient! I’m sure it’ll all make sense some day and I will look back at this time with fondness. Sometimes I wonder why I can’t just be happy with what I have and why I seem to need changes in my life to continue to be happy. I also worry sometimes if I’ll ever be able to “settle” down and be happy. But then I realize that I’m still young so this is the time for me to “do me.” I really only have one goal in life and that is to be happy. So yeah, maybe I’m the type who needs changes once in a while in order to be happy, but that’s ok. I mean, that’s probably why there’s that saying to “follow your bliss,” right? That shit don’t stand still!
In any case, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, stay happy (even if I’m no longer on that high), be grateful for all the wonderful opportunities that have come up so far, and keep my eyes open for other opportunities that may come up.