Last night, a friend of mine was helping me with my school work that had to do with coding. Logical person I may be, but coder I am not.
Suffice it to say, I felt pretty useless, although of course I was very grateful for the help because what would’ve taken me at least 30 minutes took him a few seconds. No exaggeration. I knew logically what the program had to do at a high level, but I couldn’t even tell him anything about implementation. At least the last lab he helped me with I knew what I wanted the program to do and I just needed help with the syntax. This time, nada.
So I was genuinely surprised when he told me he mentioned me to his boss and that if I ever needed a job, to let him know. He’s offered me this before but I think last time it was more of a friend doing a friend a favor. This time it had to do with how I explained the problem to him because when I first showed him what I needed to do, we were both at a loss as to what the lab was asking for. I expressed my surprise that he pretty much offered me a job given that my coding skills are below sub-par and he said it’s my other skills he was referring to. OMG! I’ve got skills?!!?
I was really touched and flattered because like I said, I felt that I was pretty useless. Totally made my day.
It also reminded me of this test that my friend asked me to take, which tells you what your primary love language is. It’s based on the book, 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. My profile tells me my primary love languages are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.
I haven’t read the book (yet) but basically it describes how you express your love and how you understand other people’s expression of love. I’ve never thought about it before, but it makes sense that people show and interpret things differently when it comes to love. For example, I tend to get really upset when I’ve specifically scheduled something with someone, especially given my busy schedule, and that person flakes on me. I don’t mean if that person has a valid reason, but when the reason is something like, “Oh I forgot I had stuff to do today” or if it happens frequently (and by frequently I mean, like, twice in a row lol). On the other hand, this isn’t a big deal to other people. I didn’t even realize that! I thought everyone felt the same way, which is why I felt really disrespected when someone flaked on me.
Then when I saw that my other primary love language according to the test was Words of Affirmation I was like, um, no. I don’t need to hear I love you. Actions speak louder than words. I do not break because of insults, I just stop listening. But then things like my friend telling me I’ve actually got skills happen and I realize that words do mean a lot to me, albeit maybe not the specific examples given. It really does brighten my day when someone compliments me unexpectedly, especially when I’m being my type-A, perfectionist self and don’t think I’m good enough or doing enough.
This concept is really interesting to me and I’m glad my friend pointed it out. Now that I’m aware, I try my best to be more open and not take things so personal when things like, someone not telling me they can’t make it to an event until after the fact happen. It’s hard. I still get upset. But once I get over the initial burst of temper I’m able to step back now and try to see the other person’s point of view. Maybe that person’s love language is not Quality Time like mine is and that’s why it didn’t occur to that person how upset it would make me. Or maybe that person just sucks. 😛
In any case, it meant a lot to me that someone I respect thinks I’ve got pretty good skills, and also that he spent time helping me out when he really didn’t have to. Words of Affirmation and Quality time in one night, boom! Did I mention that it’s really about the people here in Binghamton? The people here are awesome.
But really, dem skillz, tho. 🙂