I never thought I’d say that but it’s true. I get really pig-headed some(most)times and I put it in my head that I. Must. FINISH IT.
Most of the time it’s a good trait to have but there are times when the Present Me wants to slap the Past Me and say, “It’s not worth it, dammit!!” Because regardless of whether or not I complete the task or resolve the issue, when the amount of time and effort I put in exceeds the value of success, I end up feeling like crap. I feel really antsy, stressed out, and angry like no other.
And when I don’t even end up finishing it or getting what I want anyway? OH. Much worse. Because then it’s like, wow, I might as well have just flushed my time down the toilet for all the good it did me.
And then it makes me want to cry.
So what fantastic thing did I do this time where I should’ve given up sooner? It isn’t a relationship issue this time, thankfully, although I’ve managed to waste my own time a few times in the past. No, this time it has to do with school. How could that possibly be a bad thing then, spending all that time for school? Well, I spent about 15 hours on my final lab for this class only to still not have it working like it’s supposed to. Not to say I should’ve spent 0 hours on it, but I should’ve stopped by 10 hours. Why? Because I did all of that for a prerequisite class (undergraduate course) that will not even count towards my master’s degree! I only needed it so I can have a specific specialty for my master’s. It won’t even count towards my GPA! So, dammit, why did I do that?? Now I will have to spend extra hours to get my work done for my job. Le sigh.
I think in the future I need to consult my time vs. worth graph. I need to determine, once I hit an issue or some sort of road block, how much achieving this goal is worth it to me. Based on the worth, then I can figure out how much time I should put in or if I’ve already put in enough time.
Ugh. One day I’ll learn. I hope.