They sent me to Binghamton

I've always wanted to be on the east coast, and the universe responded…by sending me to Binghamton, NY. Oh you've never heard of it? Neither had I, but I do so love adventures and that's how I choose to view this. Let the adventures begin!

Time to Move On

2 Comments

So much has changed in the past year and a half. I find myself a different person, a much more relaxed and carefree version of myself. I have learned to let go, to forgive, and not to worry about things that aren’t actually that important in the grand scheme of things (like the fact that I owe about $2000 in taxes – yikes!). More importantly, I am healed and I finally feel like I’m becoming the person I’m meant to be. However…of course there’s more room for growth, as always, and I must have still been holding on to something…or rather…someone. I didn’t think I was, but good ol’ universe was quick to give me (what I presume must be) a lesson and remind me that I need to let go.

I thought I was over him, I really did. And I think I was and am over him as a person, as in I would not actually have wanted anything romantic with him at this point, but there must have been a part of me that was still holding on to the memory of what was between us and what could have been. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have reacted as I have…not that I was a complete wreck or anything, but I still felt something, I hate to admit.

But let’s backtrack a bit, shall we? When I officially moved to NY a little over a month ago, I unpacked my things that have been in storage for quite some time and naturally I found things I had forgotten I even had. Among these was a gift I was supposed to give to The Man Who Made Me Crazy when I had made my first trip to NYC and was supposed to meet up with him. Things didn’t pan out for reasons I now understand but that was the last time we spoke and I was so upset at the time I cried all the way home from the airport to my apartment, which was a 45 minute drive…it wasn’t pretty.

tumblr_m3docqkt2C1qe4fpyo3_250

However, even amidst my tears and anger I recognized that there was a reason this happened and I was grateful because then I was able to get out of the crazy pit I had been for a little over a year. Yes. It lasted that long. As a test to myself, I didn’t immediately throw away the gift. I hid it from myself and reasoned that my getting over The Man Who Made Me Crazy could be measured by how I reacted to the gift. It was like this:

Screen shot 2015-05-30 at 10.06.29 PM

It totally worked! By the time I found the gift again it took me a few seconds to remember what it was and why I had it. On the same day I found it (and threw it away), I found out my ex, the one I thought I would one day marry, just got engaged. I was really proud of myself that day. I was handed what would once have been a double-whammy, and I felt nothing but happiness for my ex and just straight up nothing for The Man Who (Once) Made Me Crazy. Gave myself a double pat on the back that day and moved on with my life.

self five

And then a few days ago I got a Facebook notification that a girl liked a photo I had posted on The Man Who (Once) Made Me Crazy‘s wall about 3 years ago. Naturally, I was curious so I clicked on her profile…and found out that she had just gotten engaged to The Man Who (Once) Made Me Crazy

Shock

My reaction was not the same as when I found out my ex got engaged. I was affected. I was hurt. But then I investigated my feelings and realized it was not my heart that was hurt, it was my pride. Because HOW DARE YOU GET ENGAGED BEFORE ME!?!? And once I realized what I was really feeling I had to laugh at myself. I mean, it’s not like he found happiness before I did – I’ve been happy – this whole blog is a reflection of that! Besides, I really shouldn’t be upset over someone else’s happiness; that’s just petty. So after venting a bit to my friends and making fun of myself I had to once again thank the universe for teaching me a lesson, or perhaps giving me a reminder that it’s time for me to move on. I’ve got a feeling I have a lot of other things heading my way and I should look ahead of me instead of constantly looking behind me, even if it’s just a glance or two. So thank you, universe, for once again having my back. 🙂

Looking-Ahead-to-2015

Advertisements

Author: lorz46

When I first started this blog, life had just thrown me a curveball by sending me to the middle of nowhere in upstate New York right smack in the middle of winter from my hometown in sunny, southern California. I had no idea what to expect, how long I would stay, or even where my life was heading. All I knew was that there were a great many adventures to be had after they sent me to Binghamton.

2 thoughts on “Time to Move On

  1. Pingback: A Sunday Kind of Love | They sent me to Binghamton

  2. Pingback: A Rollercoaster of Emotions | They sent me to Binghamton

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s