I understand

I understand
the world needed a reset

I understand
this is out of my control

I understand
this is needed

I understand
I am not alone

I understand
through this, we all,
as one, will learn to love

The above flowed out of my hand and onto a piece of paper when I was given the prompt, “I understand” by an online group I joined recently, created for women seeking to evolve, grow, and support each other during this time of uncertainty.  I’ve been doing a lot of that lately – joining online community groups, participating in live online well-being sessions, joining group online meditation sessions. The COVID-19 global pandemic and resulting government mandated work from home for non-essential employees has certainly caused me to reevaluate my life pre-COVID-19.

What have I been spending the majority of my time on? Who have I been spending it with? And why have I been telling myself, “I should do this more often” on the rare times I gave myself time and space to breathe, allowed myself precious recharging alone time to do something purely out of pleasure, instead of just doing it more often.

Something seems out of alignment here. And thanks to the sudden free time I always had but never thought I did, I finally am focusing on the things that matter. This COVID-19 pandemic that is completely out of my control has been like a giant flashlight showing me what is in my control. And that is what I focus on everyday, which is why everyday has been a joy to me. Go figure.

I don’t have control over what is happening all over the world. I can’t change it. The small businesses affected by this, the exponential growth of number of people who contract this virus daily all over the world, the friends and family members who cannot even have a funeral for a loved one who has passed away from this virus or from any other cause – all this brings me sadness, and if I let it, could build up anxiety.

But I don’t need to add my anxiety to the rest of the world’s. There’s too much of it already.

So instead, I let the fear and sadness wash over me…and then I let it go. Then everyday I repeat to myself the things that I know absolutely to be true and is within my control. Today, I am healthy. Today, I have food. Today, I have a job. Today, my parents are safe. Today, I get to work from home again, which is a dream come true!

Then I work from home and because I work from home, I can add an hour here and an hour there of things that I have always wanted to do but “never had the time for.” I pick up my guitar at least once a day. I meditate or do yoga. Sometimes both. I make the time to do something for my emotional and mental growth, something I’ve done in the past but not every day. I hit my home gym and post goofy pictures or videos to hopefully motivate others to keep moving or at the very least make them laugh.

This is an awful time in history, I know that. But I think this abrupt change was needed. A collective pause, time for reflection, and sense of togetherness.

Like Sam Cooke said, “A change is gonna come.”