I've always wanted to be on the east coast, and the universe responded…by sending me to Binghamton, NY. Oh you've never heard of it? Neither had I, but I do so love adventures and that's how I choose to view this. Let the adventures begin!
I’m seriously in love with fall. This isn’t the best picture but here’s what it looks like when I drive down Vestal Parkway.
Every time I drive and I see the trees it brings the biggest smile to my face.
This is my favorite season just because it’s a slow change and you can clearly see it day after day. Some say they don’t like fall because it’s a sign of winter and the reality is the pretty leaves are really the leaves dying but…it reminds me of life in a way. Yes, I am aware it’s one step closer to winter but for the moment, I will enjoy the beauty and just relish the moment. While it’s true that one windy day might blow all the pretty leaves off the trees, it doesn’t negate the moments of simple happiness it has already brought me. One of these days I’m going to just park my car and take photos. You know, before that one windy day comes and blows all the leaves off. 😛
I am just so in love with life. So happy. So excited for things to come. Finally not trying to plan every single aspect of my life and just letting myself be. What a great feeling. 🙂
This speaks to me and I would love nothing more than for my close friends and family to feel the same way I do.
I remember the exact moment I decided I wasn’t going to come back to LA. It was a snow-covered day in the middle of real winter, I didn’t have Monstrosity yet as my rental vehicle, and I was driving down Watson blvd on my way to Traditions, the hotel I was staying at because the apartment I wanted wasn’t ready yet (excellent hotel, btw, I highly recommend). As I was looking at the wonder of snow around me a sudden thought came to me:
Yup. I’m not coming back home.
It just dawned on me all of a sudden and I had this bursting feeling of happiness and certainty, much like this:
I hadn’t even made friends yet at that point, hadn’t gone to any of the CrossFit gyms around because I was sick but somehow I just knew. Of course, in the following months there were moments of panic and uncertainty since I have the type of personality where I feel the need to categorize everything in neat little boxes, but in that moment there was no doubt. Now I’ve just gotten this feeling that something else is about to change, something drastic, in a good way.
No seriously! It’s a gut feel!
Whatever, man! I’ve had this feeling before about certain things in my life and they’ve come true so far!
😀 😀 I’m laughing at myself because the logical part of my brain is like, “Homegirl, get real.” I dunno, maybe I’m right, maybe I’m just in fantasyland at this particular moment. I guess we’ll find out. The important thing though? Unlike previous times where I’m analyzing, trying to figure out what and why I’m feeling this way, right now I just don’t care. Bring it on, life! I think I’m finally ready.
I first saw this a few years ago but it never fails to make me laugh.
I had intended to go to Taughannock Falls (I have no idea how to pronounce that) for my Sunday Funday but unfortunately, my school work took me way longer than I anticipated (as in 6 hours to get half of my homework done!). By the time I was finished, it was already early evening and my head felt like it was going to explode.
I would’ve loved to lay out by the pool and just hang out for an hour or two, but unfortunately fall is coming around the corner and the weather did not allow this.
For some reason I was feeling extremely agitated so rather than go straight home, I settled for going to my now favorite spot in the park across the street from me.
I don’t know why the swing seemed to be exactly what I needed at that moment. Maybe because it’s reminiscent of my childhood and being rocked to sleep? Or maybe it’s just a reminder of childhood in general, a time when there were no responsibilities and my biggest worries seemed to be whether I can still wear a cute dress and play on the monkey bars at the same time. I’m pretty sure the only thing that would’ve made that moment better is if I had some bubbles I could’ve blown. I don’t know why, but that seems to soothe me whenever I’m stressed.
In any case, as soon as I sat on the (admittedly too small for me) swing, my mind immediately felt at peace. That zen-like, happy feeling I felt when I first moved here settled over me and I began to reflect on where I was in my life and how I never would’ve imagined, even at the beginning of this year, that it would be like this. I am so grateful for all the things that have happened this year. I’ve made some lifelong friends here, I have job prospects (yes, plural!) should my current job not work out for me, and best of all, I am finally at peace. Even that one niggling feeling that would not go away I have finally come to terms with. Sometimes, it really is just about letting go completely. I may not understand, my feelings may change later on, but for now, I accept them.
When I first moved to Binghamton, one part of me was incredibly excited and happy because I knew my life was about to change, but another part of me was pretty miserable because it was freaking cold and my body had no idea how to deal with it.
I’m pretty sure this is what I looked like the first couple months
Then once spring came and I started making friends at work and at the gym I entered this euphoric state and felt like I was on a high almost all the time. I was annoyingly happy, pretty much inhaling rainbows and exhaling butterflies.
It’s been about 7 months since I’ve moved, I’ve pretty much established myself in this area meaning I’ve got my routine down, I’ve got my local friends, I’m still very close to my CA friends, been to all sorts of cool places in the surrounding areas, been traveling, but…my euphoric zen state is gone. I’m still happy and I feel a lot better knowing I can totally stay here if I want to (one of my friends here said if I wanted a job in this area, I should let him know), but…I’ve been feeling restless lately. I can’t imagine why! I’ve been out of town most weekends, both locally and even out of the country, and yet there’s still that feeling that I’m missing something…what, man!?!? What is it!?!?
Haha I really need to learn to be patient! I’m sure it’ll all make sense some day and I will look back at this time with fondness. Sometimes I wonder why I can’t just be happy with what I have and why I seem to need changes in my life to continue to be happy. I also worry sometimes if I’ll ever be able to “settle” down and be happy. But then I realize that I’m still young so this is the time for me to “do me.” I really only have one goal in life and that is to be happy. So yeah, maybe I’m the type who needs changes once in a while in order to be happy, but that’s ok. I mean, that’s probably why there’s that saying to “follow your bliss,” right? That shit don’t stand still!
Me following my bliss
In any case, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, stay happy (even if I’m no longer on that high), be grateful for all the wonderful opportunities that have come up so far, and keep my eyes open for other opportunities that may come up.
As much as I miss being in a city, with all its conveniences, tall buildings, tight space, and just the general “I AM ALIVE” vibe that you feel walking around, there is something to be said about being in a rural place a.k.a. middle of nowhere. The hustle and bustle of a city gets you motivated to go out and do things, be someone, get noticed – you just feel so alive. The quiet and open space of a rural area makes you slow down, think about things, do some self-reflection – makes you feel grateful for being alive.
I mean, how could I have forgotten how much I love going on walks? Or going on a long drive by myself? I guess I just got so busy with my life that I forgot to pay attention to the little things that I’ve always loved, even back in the day before I knew what a career was. Being out here makes me remember the little things while still pursuing my goals. I’m already pretty self-motivated bordering on perfectionist/over-achiever that I don’t really need to live in the middle of a bustling city like NYC to feel motivated. Moving to Binghamton (Bingham-where?) has turned out to be the best thing for me. Had I not been sent here for work, I’m not sure I would’ve ever known that living in the middle of nowhere would probably be where I would thrive the most or probably be happiest, although I still maintain that I would probably be happy regardless of where I find myself.
So thank you, universe, for sending me to the middle of nowhere.
Sir Cooper
God, I love this cat. He’s just so damn cute. And you know, just so I’m not playing favorites and all…
It’s nice to know that I’ve got options on staying here. My gut feeling was right. There are many people at work both at my company and our supplier (where I’m currently sitting) who genuinely care for my well-being as opposed to just my value to this program. I’ve spoken to my now former boss about the possibility of me staying here on the east coast and he has in turn spoken with my new boss and their boss and they all seem receptive to the idea. I’ve also spoken with another co-worker of mine about the possibility of me joining his team. Other people around here have also suggested some opportunities in this area I can look into. All in all, I’ve got options. I know which option I want but cautious person that I am, I’m not going to lay all my eggs in that basket so I’m still going to explore other possibilities.
Bottom line though…
“It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day” -Johnny Nash
When I took my impromptu trip to downtown Corning this past weekend I was in an extremely happy state until I got an email from The Man Who Made Me Crazy. I didn’t let that get me down but the email was on the back of my mind for the rest of the night. I didn’t read it that night in fear that it would totally bring back memories and emotions that I had worked so hard to let go of, so I waited until the next day.
And guess what? I read the email…and felt nothing. Well, I shouldn’t say nothing because I did feel something, and that something was relief. I was expecting to have to stop myself from responding in a way that would start things up again. I was expecting to be bombarded with all these mixed feelings of hurt, anger, and hope, and needing my friends to slap some sense into me. Instead, I read the email and decided that it did not even warrant a response. No, sir, you do not get to start things up with me just because we are now in the same time zone and it’s convenient for you. The time has come and gone, this ship has sailed onto bigger and better things, and I am way too happy to invite that kind of craziness into my life again.
Then I got to thinking, most of the time disappointment comes from our expectations being set too high and the reality not being able to meet those expectations. And unfortunately, I feel like this happens more often than not. Well, I’m not sure what’s going on but so far the reality has been exceeding my expectations. It’s not like my expectations have been set low, either. I mean, from my co-workers being super cool out here and turning into actual friends I’d hang out with, to the people I’ve met at the gym who also are turning out to be more than just gym-buddies and actual close friends, then you have the beauty that is upstate NY along with the surrounding areas that I’m having fun exploring…it is way more than I expected. I knew I was going to be happy moving here but I really didn’t expect it to be like this, and I am just so thankful.
So cheers to life, to happiness, and to finding that reality is actually pretty damn good sometimes!
Today was supposed to be a day of errands and getting my life together (planning my move out of my apartment back in SoCal, etc.), particularly because yesterday was already a full day of fun, which included olympic lifting in the morning at my friend’s gym, going to the Corning Museum of Glass, working out at my second home, eating at the Greek Festival, then showing off my (barely there) salsa moves at Zona’s.
So after working out in the morning, I was supposed to get my adult on and take care of things, like getting Monstrosity‘s oil changed, do laundry, buy groceries, and figure out my situation back home.
But…how could I say no to this?
The answer is, I couldn’t. I at least managed to get Monstrosity’s oil changed but right after that…road trip!
There were a few people I could’ve called to come with me to downtown Corning, but I really just wanted to be alone and enjoy my own company. You know, have my own private party, if you will. And let me tell you, this party of one was off the hook!
Of course, I started my date with myself by consuming some deliciousness at Poppleton:
Afterwards, I just aimlessly walked down Market street and ended up at the Centerway Square.
Through the Centerway Square was the Centerway Bridge, which had this cool maze type of thing painted in the middle of the bridge. I, of course, followed the maze the first time I walked through and got to the other side in one try!
After I crossed the Centerway Bridge, I sat on a bench and just enjoyed the moment. I felt incredibly happy the whole day – it was such an amazing feeling.
(Don’t be fooled by the seemingly nonchalant pose and candid shot. This was a total selfie. #aintnoshame)
I sat there until the sun started to go down and my stomach told me it was time for food again. Apparently, pure happiness is not enough to sate my incredibly huge appetite. No matter, my friend had told me that The Cellar was a must-try, plus yummy food also makes me happy.
So there I was, enjoying my fine meal and lost in my own thoughts when a realization dawned on me. I thought that while my heart was set on the east coast, it was not set on Binghamton. But the truth is...I have fallen head over heels in love with upstate New York and Binghamton in particular because of the people, the beauty, and its surrounding areas.
I felt like Carrie in Sex and the City when she referred to NYC as her one great love.
I was engrossed in my newfound love, totally enamored by my surroundings, bursting with happiness over having some quality alone time, when I saw this on my phone:
…Seriously?
I didn’t read the email (still haven’t, actually) because I didn’t want it to potentially ruin my day. You know, supposedly things happen for a reason and it happens when it happens because that’s the way it’s supposed to be and all…but sometimes I think the universe just likes being a jerk.
No matter, I was way too happy to let anything bring me down. Besides, God bless my parents for ingraining this in me, but I’m pretty good at finding the humor in situations, even less-than-pleasant ones. So while I could have chosen to let it get to me, throw me back into the crazy pit, and end up like this:
I instead chose to let the fact that homeboy is still thinking about me after all this time wash over me. Then I started singing this song instead:
They sent me to Binghamton 